tomorrow is the day

Well, in about 18 hours I will be undergoing my second jaw surgery. I am much more anxious and nervous this time than I was the first time. I guess it is because I know what to expect going in. Last time, I didn't want to know and so I didn't ask many questions. Now, whether I asked questions or not, I know a lot of what I will feel like and endure when I wake up.

I have to go into work tomorrow until my surgery, and I just wish I could sleep through the rest of the day. I know that it's going to crawl and drag on. I truly hope the day passes quickly. I can't eat or drink anything past 3 am, and I will be up at 6:15 am. This is going to be really tough.

As of today, the feeling is returning in the second half of my chin! This is huge news, because I was beginning to think it wasn't coming back. But it's also bittersweet, because I fear that I will go numb again after tomorrow. I may not, but this is something I don't know the answer to. I'm scared that after al this time (almost 10 weeks), I will lose feeling and have to start the nerve healing process over again. I'm scared that it won't come back the second time around.

If I could only calm the nerves and the thoughts racing through my head, tonight and tomorrow would be easier. Unfortunately, I can't turn it off. This post is jumping all over the place just like my head.

I will post updates once I am feeling better or up to it. Post your comments please!

here goes nothing - a second jaw surgery

Well today I noticed that the swelling had begun to spread to my cheek. I am taking the antibiotics, but I called my oral surgeon to make sure that was normal for the swelling to increase. He decided to go ahead with the second surgery. So, in about 3 days, I am undergoing my second jaw surgery in the last 3 months. He is going to drain the infection and remove the hardware. He'll hopefully cut out any excess bone growth if there is any and smooth out the bump once and for all. 

I continue to second guess myself. I wanted to have the surgery now because I want to get it over with rather than to wait until May (which was my plan before the infection)...so I saw this as an opportunity to get it out of the way. A co-worker also noticed that the swelling was moving into my cheek, so I don't know why I continue to question whether I overreacted. If she can see it after only 24 hours, then surely I am not seeing things. 

He wants me to continue my antibiotics until surgery. I am guessing that he wants as much of the infection to go away as possible. I don't think he anticipates that the infection will improve 100%, and if it does, I think he expects it to return (as do I). 

I am totally concerned and terrified of relapse from removing hardware this early on. The surgeon says that it will make no difference because the bones are fused together (you can see it on the x-ray), but my personality is to worry constantly and so I am. I spoke with my orthodontist though, and he reassured me that I will be wearing my elastics for quite awhile as he originally planned, and they will help to keep everything in place if there is any residual healing to be done. I hope that there won't be any abnormal bone growth after the second surgery. I don't want to have a third, but I want my face to be even after all of this effort and pain. 

UGH...I truly wish I could stop stressing about this. I intend to ask all of my questions before the surgery so as to make me feel better. 

Feel free to share your experiences. :)

                                      Sunday                               Tuesday

               At first glance, it almost appears like my "lump" was larger on Sunday, although if you look close enough my cheek surrounding it is actually puffier today than it was a few days ago, hence the additional swelling. 

an update on complications

I saw my oral surgeon this morning, and the news that I received was not great. He performed an x-ray, and this lump is not extra bone. It's infection, and a bad one at that. He's concerned that my very back molar is decaying at the root, which could be one potential cause. He thinks the screws could possibly be causing infection as well. He put me on a strong antibiotic, but he isn't hopeful that it will work. He said that even if it does go away, it will probably come back. He's anticipating that I will have have another surgery soon. He's going to have to drain the infection and remove the screws. Have any of you had plates and screws removed this early in the process? He says that my bone is mostly fused together and removing the screws at this point will not impact my bite. However, I'm only 9 weeks post op. I don't want to relapse, because I never want to have to undergo anything like this again. Let me know what your experiences were and if any of you had them out this early. "Sigh" ... I expected to be over the hump at this point. I feel as if it's just beginning. 

approaching week 9...some new complications

I will be through my ninth week of orthognathic surgery recovery on Tuesday. My recovery has taken an unexpected turn. The past several days have been filled with worry and anxiety, as my jaw bone bump has begun to swell and grow. It is growing more tender and painful by the day. It is uncomfortable and somewhat painful to put on makeup and touch that side of my jaw. It is also painful to lay on that side.

I have yet to call my surgeons office because I assume there is nothing to be done over the holiday. I plan to go see him tomorrow. Even if he suggests it is normal and nothing to worry about, I'd still like to go in and have an x-ray. I fear that there will be something wrong and I will have to undergo another surgery. I will feel better knowing everything is still intact.

 This bump I have has made me increasingly self conscious. I cannot wait until it is gone...I fully intend to have the plates and skrewes removed from my jaw within the next few months.

Day 42 - a huge milestone!

Today is day 42 (or 6 weeks) post op for me! This is a huge milestone, as my orthognathic surgeon has released me into my orthodontists care. He has also given me permission to begin chewing again. Mind you, soft foods only for another week and a half, but it's a start!

I attempted to chew some pasta tonight, and I quickly discovered that I am going to have to retrain myself to do this simple task. Not only do I not know how to chew in my new bite position, but my muscles are sore now after eating one plate full of pasta.

It's only been six weeks, but I can't help but wish that my transformation was complete. My smile is a little bit odd and will need some training of it's own. I also have a "bone bump" on the left side of my face that may or may not smooth out over the next 6 months. If it doesn't, I plan to have my surgeon shave it down. I appear more swollen on that side and I don't like it. I am so ready to feel normal and pretty again! This will come in due time, but I am not a patient person by any means.

I am still numb on my left side. The feeling has returned in my right and it is split right down the middle. My surgeon has advised me that if the feeling is not back in 6 months to a year, it's not coming back. I would do the surgery over again even if I had known before I wouldn't regain feeling. The only real inconvenience with the numbness is the difficulty putting on chapstick and missing crumbs on my chin when eating.

I no longer have the elastics my oral surgeon equipped me with, although I do have some from my orthdontist. Strangely enough, from a comfort stance, I prefer to wear rubber bands. I feel odd without them in my mouth. The "good" news is I get to wear these for another 6 weeks or so.

As promised, I have another picture for you. I think there is quite a difference here than in my original picture. I HOPE there is.

 

 I promise I'm not as angry as I look in these pictures. But as you can see, there's a good bone bump on that right side. I HATE this and truly hope it will go away as soon as possible. UGH. Looking at these pictures is discouraging.