discouraged ... is this a part of it?

I went to my oral surgeon on Friday to have him look at a spot on my surgical incision that wasn't healing properly. He told me that it looked like it was headed in the right direction and was no longer draining, so nothing to do. He said that I have another salivary gland that is stopped up to the size of a BB, but it is not worth taking out or cutting on me again. 

I asked him about my swelling and if it will go away and if so how long will it take? He told me that he cannot give a definitive answer to either question. Really? So we don't know if it will EVER go away? In the back of my mind (the logical part) I know that it will and that it is just swollen due to all of the infections and surgeries I have had. But the emotional side of me is scared to death that it will never be the same. That side of my face has YET to be the same size as the other (as you can see by the very first pics I posted 7 days post op). So of course, I spent my weekend stressing, worrying, googling, taking pictures, analyzing, and studying the mirror. I'm driving myself nuts, and yet I can't help it. At some points I have felt ready to cry, and I don't cry easily. I've been through a lot these past 5 months, and I think I am near my breaking point. I do not know how much more bad news I can take before I break. I've been strong (too strong), and now it is starting to overwhelm me. 

Has anyone ever felt this way? I've endured a lot of pain and cosmetic embarrassment throughout the healing process, and I can't face the idea of there being an imperfection there after all of this effort, time, pain, and money. Will it go away? Why won't he tell me for sure? What can I do to make the swelling disappear??

saw my new endodontist

Since my last post, I have seen my new endodontist twice. First thing I must say is that i absolutely adore him. He has some of the best bedside manners that I have ever experienced (and I've seen a lot of doctors). He is extremely thorough, takes his time, and ensures that you understand fully what condition you have. 

He believes my second molar to be fine. He thinks that my original root canal tooth is still the problem. After the first visit, he put me on a round of antibiotics for 10 days. He suggested that after the antibiotics, if I was still swollen he would retreat the tooth. I went back to see him last week following my antibiotics, and I had drainage at my surgical site. It had been two weeks since surgery, and therefore drainage (especially while having been on antibiotics) was extremely unusual. He said that he was very concerned  (although I am an unusual case). He spoke with my oral surgeon for about twenty minutes while I was in the exam room. They decided that the next course of action would be to take me off of the antibiotics entirely and reevaluate in 1 week. He told me that if I am still draining and/or swollen, he will retreat the tooth. After the tooth is retreated, if I am STILL draining and/or swollen, I will have to see my oral surgeon to discuss pulling the tooth & draining the cheek. 

Needless to say, I am not out of the woods yet and I am not through my journey. For those of you reading this and second guessing your orthognathic surgery, let me encourage you. After all of the trauma I've endured, I still do NOT regret my decision to undergo surgery. I was so self conscious about my overbite, that I would do this over again in a heartbeat. 

it has been awhile...new problems arising

It's been quite awhile since I have blogged on here, and I apologize to those of you who follow this. Since my last post, quite a bit has happened. 
      Shortly after my second surgery involving removal of plates, an abscessed tooth was discovered. I was sent to an endodontist and was subjected to a root canal. I was told that the tooth died due to the trauma from my surgeries. I thought this was the end to my swelling and "lump", but I was wrong.
      I assumed that my swelling would gradually subside, but after about 2 months following my initial root canal visit, I was still swollen. There were days when I was just as swollen as I was prior to the root canal, and then there were days when I was barely swollen and you hardly noticed. I finally decided to make call to my oral surgeon. He sent me to the endodontist, who ensured me that the root canal was successful. I noticed on her new x-ray that I had a big dark spot connected the the root of the adjacent tooth. When I pointed it out to her, she told me that it hadn't changed from any of the other x-rays, and so she wasn't concerned. I proceeded to visit my oral surgeon. He discovered that I had an infected salivary gland, which commonly develop as a result of biting your incision site when you can't feel it. He also noticed the dark spot on my tooth. 
      I asked my orthodontist to look at his recent x-ray, and he too saw the dark spot and was concerned. So I, my oral surgeon, and my orthodontist were all concerned about the dark spot, but the one in business of selling root canals wasn't? It didn't make sense.
      Anywhoo, I was put on another dose of clindamycin, and surgery was scheduled to remove/drain the salivary gland. This surgery took place on Thursday, 4 days ago. My salivary gland was HUGE, the size of a marble. However, I must still see another endodontist for a second opinion on both the success of my root canal, and the adjacent tooth that appears to be abscessed. It is quite possible that the infection in the original tooth spread to the one next to it. And IMO, the dark spot had grown, as I had seen it on the very first x-ray taken by my dentist. 
      So needless to say, my orthognathic journey is FAR from over. I will post another update following my visit with the new endodontist. I'm guessing I will need a second root canal, which my insurance won't cover. Hence, I will be purchasing a supplemental policy that does not have a waiting period...
      Please feel free to post comments or questions!

day 2 following root canal and day 14 post plate removal

Today is day two following my root canal on day 12 of my plate removal surgery. My endodontist told me that my tooth was totally dead, and probably contributed to why I couldn't feel any pain associated with it. It was abscessed, and I have to go back to her again in three weeks to have more medicine put into the root canal. I have no idea when I will be getting a crown, but my orthodontist suggested waiting until my orthodontic treatment is complete. 

Due to how many antibiotics I have been on lately, my endodontist wanted to wait to put me on any. I am supposed to call her today to let her know if my swelling has improved. If it hasn't drastically improved, I believe she is going to either put me on some or bring me back in sooner. I haven't noticed a huge difference this morning, but I'm going to wait to give it time to settle (fluid can build up overnight while lying down) and then I'm going to take a picture to do a true comparison to yesterday's picture. 

The root canal was not that bad. I requested laughing gas, and I must admit, despite the feeling of being "high" I still got nervous. They numbed me up very well though, and I didn't feel anything but pressure and vibrations. Oddly enough, the most unpleasant part of the whole root canal was at one point I had an overwhelming stench of bleach, which seemed to seap into every orifice on my face. I could have sworn I was swallowing it, but I had a oral guard on and couldn't swallow anything. That part was by far the worst. 

There hasn't been a whole lot of pain with this root canal. I have taken some of my leftover pain medication because it does hurt at times, but it feels like a walk in the park compared to what I have undergone to date. 

I truly hope that this is over with. Other than the rest of my treatment for the root canal, I don't want to have to have anything done ever again. This has been truly miserable, but will hopefully be worth it when I look back at this journey. 

an update on day 11

I saw my dentist today. He took an x-ray and I was placed in the exam room to wait. I prayed the x-ray would be normal, but to my dismay and frustration I have an abcess on tooth #18 that must be fixed. The longer I let it go, the more it will eat into the bone that was just operated on. SO, I will be undergoing yet my THIRD procedure tomorrow at 2:15 pm. While it is only a root canal, it is still another surgical procedure and one that I am not looking forward to.

From what the dentist told me, it is normal for the root of a tooth to react this way following all of the moving and shifting and moving again with all of the treatment I have had. The recovery will be very minor (I will return to work Thursday, ready or not) and the swelling should be minimal. He believes that the swelling I have now is a result of both my second jaw surgery and my abscessed tooth.

At this point I am rather frustrated. I'm not frustrated at anyone specifically, I am just frustrated at the course that my journey has taken me on. I still know that this will be worth it, and I am still holding onto that. My surgeon and orthodontist have both been wonderful and I couldn't have asked for a better team to help me through this- it just appears as if I will get to add a few more doctors to that team! :/

day 11 following 2nd jaw surgery

Today marks the 11th day following my 2nd jaw surgery. I am doing much better pain wise. I am able to eat what I want now, although I am still a little bit sore afterwards. I also still feel awkward chewing, and I am trying to relearn this task. My energy level has returned to normal (which was never great to begin with). 

Today I am going to see a dentist to have the root of my back molar checked out. On the x-ray that my oral surgeon performed, it looked as if the root could possibly be infected or decaying. I am opting to get it checked by a dentist now rather than to wait, because I want to have peace of mind that there's nothing wrong. If there is in fact something wrong, I can't do anything about it yet. I will have to wait until about 3-4 weeks post-op. However, I will at least know why if I begin swelling again.

As of today, I am still swollen. I take pictures of myself almost daily to monitor the swelling progress, and it does improve with each photo. The first week, however, swelling reduction happened much faster. It has drastically slowed now, and I am extremely fearful and paranoid it will plateau. I am not as self conscious as I was before, because the lump is hardly noticeable. But every time I look in the mirror, I still see it because I am looking for it, and this of course bothers me.

My oral surgeon said if I was still swollen by Friday to come see him. He also said even if I am just unsure of my progress to come see him. I fully intend to go by his office either Thursday or Friday. I don't really think that my swelling will have totally smoothed out by Friday, and I need to have some reassurance from him that it will eventually. 

I do believe that this part is the hardest. When progress begins to slow, things begin to look and feel bleak. I know my body is still healing, but I cannot help the frustration that I am feeling. I am more than extremely ready for this lump to disappear and never, EVER, come back. 

I will update after my appointment with my dentist. 

day 7 following 2nd surgery

Today marks one week since undergoing my second jaw surgery. I saw my oral surgeon yesterday, and it was a good appointment. I'm going to fashion this post a bit different. I'm going to put my questions and his answers. These answers are not word for word, and at some points are my interpretation. I asked him the following:

1. What did the lump I had consist of? What was I feeling? Answer: I was probably feeling the bone plate. The tissues surrounding it were swollen. 
2. How bad was the infection? Answer: There are stages of infection. Mine was in the beginning stage, where there is no puss, but just cellulitis. It was probably headed towards a raging infection.
3. Will the swelling return to normal, and will that side match the other when I am fully healed? Answer: Yes, the side that had issues will match the other side when the swelling subsides. If the swelling gets worse or doesn't go down all the way, it would be because of my tooth decaying (if it's in fact decaying).
4. Were you able to see the root of my tooth and check it out? Answer: You can't see the root because it is inside the bone. He doesn't know whether or not the tooth will need a root canal.
5. When should I see the dentist again? Answer: Because of how swollen and tender I am, I should wait about 3-4 weeks before going to a dentist unless I really want to.There's no harm in it. (I am going to go to a dentist, but not for a cleaning. I'm going to have them give me their opinion on my tooth so that I don't have to worry about it.)
6. When can I begin eating things like popcorn and steak? Answer: I can eat whatever I want now. I need to be careful not to get things caught up in my stitches though.
7. If you had to guess how long will it take for the left side to return to normal and match the other side? Answer: He can't give a definite timeline, but if he had to guess he said that it should be back to normal by 2 weeks post op.
8. When do I need to come back and see you? Answer: I only need to come back and see him if I am swelling again, or if I am still swollen by the end of next week. If I am unsure whether my swelling is normal, I should come back also.
9. What really caused all of the swelling in the first place? Answer: He doesn't know this for sure, but he thinks that it was the combination of the loose screw and plate as well as the beginnings of infection. The screw could have been loosened by a hit to the jaw (I have a two year old that wacked me a couple of times) or my body could have been naturally pushing it out. I am the first person he has had to take hardware out of as early as 9 weeks.

That is all of the questions I can remember asking him! Today I am still bruised and tender, but my swelling is improving rapidly. My feeling is continually getting better in my chin and lip, although there is still a great deal of numbness there. I believe when it is fully healed it will be pretty darn close to 100% if not perfect!

Comment please! :)